There will not be additional Honeymoon expenses for you if you marry in Hawaii. I happen to think that the more intimate wedding is the more you remember it won’t be such a blur. The most important guests are parents, grandparents, sisters brothers, 1-3 closest friends. If you concentrate on what the Island already has to offer by keeping your decorations/dinner simple then you could pay for a couple of plane tickets for the important guests. You could always have a Luau Bar-B-Que for those who couldn’t make it later. Good Luck! Congratulations!!

I would never get married in L.A. it is not my style.

Hawaii is beautiful and you can get married on the beach at sunset.

L.A. may be easier for ppl to get to.

How important is it to you that people be there? I mean some couples want a huge ‘show’ and its all about the wedding instead of the marriage which comes after. If you are mature enough to forego the hoopla , I think an intimate ceremony in Hawaii would be lovely. It can be simple at a park or fancier at a smallish hotel on whatever island you select ( but do non stop to the major airports, not transfer from one island to another)

You would rather go through all this drama than just have the wedding at your original location without alcohol?? That just seems crazy to me.

I’m sorry, that’s really disappointing that she’s behaving this way. I’m also having a destination wedding and I would be devastated if any of my or my fiance’s family acted like this.

Don’t elope. You clearly don’t want to.

If you do think she’d make the trip regardless, go ahead with the plans and she’ll find out what a fantastic experience you’ve planned once she gets there. Personally I do not consider airfare to Hawaii too expensive for the MOTHER OF THE GROOM, especially since you are paying for her lodging! She should be appreciative.

All that said, have you considered destination options on the mainland US? Maybe she’d be kinder if you approached her with other options. I’m having my wedding at a private estate that houses 25 in the Florida Keys. Other options could be Santa Barbara, CA or wine country. If you look at the website, you can search fantastic vacation rentals houses that could accommodate all of your guests. If you are set on Hawaii, show her pictures – help her to understand your vision. It’ll be such an amazing wedding and vacation for your nearest and dearest!

Just doing a quick search on VRBO I found these amazing properties:

Hawaii: (OMG!!!!)

Florida Keys:

California:

Best of luck to you!

go to hawaii nei. best bet, princeville in kauai. the wedding is for you, not for your friends, so fly off to the islands and enjoy yourself :):)

id definatly go with a bit of color for your accesories. red is good

a bit of advice. you mentioned the wedding is outdoors in hawaii. i dont know if your going to be on a beach at all, but if you even THINK you might be, dont get any sort of tall pointy heels. they are HELL in sand. perhaps find a lower, or slightly chunkier heel so you dont end up sinking in the sand

Is she the only one of your core group who is resistant? You didn’t say, and to me this makes all the difference. If she is, then obviously make it clear you want her there and hope she comes and leave the rest to her.

But if not, you may have to compromise and find a closer beach. If you’re in the middle of the country, head down to Galveston! $900 is a lot of money to most people right now.

I say this because I get the impression that having the important people is more important than the destination. If your heart is set on Hawaii, then maybe just elope.

I think metallic or fun colored shoes is a great choice. Don’t wear colored jewelry though, it will make the outfit look less elegant. Wear appropriate cocktail jewelry (something sparkly) and have fun with the shoes. You can either just use a quiet black evening purse, or one to match the shoes.